In Pursuit of the Finer Things

Thursday, February 13, 2025

2025 Word of the Year

On January 10, 2025, Roswell, Georgia awoke to snow! It was the first time since 2022 it had snowed, and maybe even longer since there was enough snow within which to play. School was canceled the day before the snowfall with anticipation the weathermen were correct in their predictions, so we all canceled our alarms and settled in for a cozy winter's sleep. Waking up lazily to a world blanketed with pristine snow quickly got me into a romantic mood. We all bundled up for sledding and, upon returning home, I set out to write my penpals, whom I had not written in several months.

Cozied up in my office with candles burning and my new favorite Spotify playlist playing, I brought out my stationery, wax seal kit, and the recent letters from my 10 penpals. Over the next three days, I leisurely completed the letters while taking breaks to catch up on Jennifer L. Scott's The Daily Connoisseur YouTube channel. Jennifer always provides so much inspiration and very little time had passed before I started pondering my word for the year. The winter fairyland outside and the coziness inside was so perfect and caused me to remember how in the past I was so conscientious of romanticizing many aspects of my life.

There was about 15 months that we lived with Chris' parents in their lovely terrace-level basement. As lovely as it was, it was still relatively small compared to the 5 bedroom/3 bathroom house where we had previously lived. I decided very early on to not dwell at the lack of space, but rather adopt a mindset of living in a smaller space (which, let's be honest, was PLENTY of space) as comparable to living in a Parisian apartment. We had one bathroom and I can remember the first time this concept of a type of "make-believe" mindset came to me. I was sitting in the tub with Fiona and I thought, how very "French" of us that we're living in a one-bedroom, one-bathroom appartement. Thinking back on this moment, I started to wonder how many more elements of daily life which I could shift my mindset to that of a more romantic one.

I'll be the first to say, life is B.U.S.Y. Between starting a new business and the children's busy schedules, it had become so easy to make life utilitarian- basically, doing the bare minimum to get by, paying the bills, and making sure everyone is fed and to appointments on time (or, at least, close to on time). Even though these tasks need to be completed regardless of what mindset we're in, living in a frenzied, hurried, "get it done and check the box!" mindset, in my mind, is the opposite of romanticizing one's life.

So what are ways I can romanticize my daily life? One daily task that feels so not chic is the morning carpool. Fiona's school starts WAY too early and for the majority of the school year, we leave our house in the dark every morning. Since her school is also too far for us to (romantically) walk, I decided that regardless weather*, upon returning home from dropping her off, I will head out on a brisk walk around the block. Watching the neighborhood slowly wake up while listening to the birds chirping their morning "hello's" brings me out of the hurry of morning routines and settles me before I return inside to continue my morning.

Another habit I've re-adopted is to ALWAYS have music playing... and most often, the music playing is either classical music or actual soundtrack music. Little Women, Pride and Prejudice, and Downton Abbey have some of the most romantic soundtracks that now also accompany me as I drive around town, sit down to work, or get ready for the day. This simple habit does wonders to elevate my mood and bring me out of a utilitarian mindset.

Letter writing has always been a favorite pastime of mine. My grandmother was my first pen pal and we would exchange letters weekly! Through different programs such as The Chic Society and The Enchanted Book Club PenPal Exchange, I've been able to indulge in this romantic pastime. Using elegant stationery, whimsical stickers, and special wax seals, this activity is easily romanticized!

Finally, a habit I have started leaning into is using more indirect light throughout the house. Every room has lamps and candles and all family members are (gently) encouraged to not use the harsh overhead lighting unless necessary. This romantic lighting helps to keep the mood dreamy, cozy, and romantic. The children have caught on and enjoy the indirect lighting. Chris has been a bit slower to adapt.

Do you have a word of the year? Are you a letter-writer? How do you bring romanticism into your everyday life? I'd love to hear!

*Disclaimer: I will walk if it is raining and I will walk if it is cold, but I will NOT walk if it is both rainy and cold.

Thursday, February 01, 2024

2024's Word of the Year and a 30-day Sleep Journey

Every December I go through a ritual that I've come to look forward to. I begin reflecting on the past year: what went well and what could have gone better. Being an Enneagram 3, I'm constantly evaluating situations and processes and looking for ways to improve upon them. While part of this ritual includes developing a business plan, a fair amount of it includes examining my personal life and scrutinizing what I can do to become better, achieve more, and reach a higher level of my best self.

2023 was such an incredible year for my family and business. I had the pleasure and honor of helping 13 families buy and sell homes. What made this even more of a proud moment for me was that of the 13 families, 11 of them were close friends and family. Building my business has been one of the most demanding things I've ever had to do so it was incredibly confirmational to have so many friends and family entrust me to help them with this process.

One of the things that separated 2023 from previous years was even though I was working hard and putting major effort INTO my business, the business I generated seemed to be effortless. By sticking to processes and systems I had put into place in previous years, business naturally flowed to me. During my time of contemplation, it occurred to me... what if the rest of my life could be so effortless?

Enter my dragons. I've been battling one of them for as long as I can remember. The one that I battle on a nightly basis is going to bed at a reasonable hour. Now, I KNOW how important sleep is. I know how much better I feel when I go to bed early and how much more productive my days are. EVERYTHING is much more effortless when one has had a good night's sleep. I have actually been doing research on this one subject for many, many years. Falling asleep was troublesome for me, even as a child. While I now have medicated assistance to help me drift off, I whole-heartedly put off actually going to bed as long as possible, making for extremely challenging 6:00 A.M. alarm calls.

It's not that I dread sleep, it just seems that whenever I'm watching a show I enjoy or am scrolling through my friend's daily activities on social media, that trumps the good intentions of a good night's sleep. I didn't say it made sense, I'm just telling it as it is. Using my word of the year as my lens, how can I make evenings and getting to bed effortless?

I know anytime I personally have to challenge a bad habit, it starts with a mindset shift. Thinking about going to bed needs to become a completely positive activity that I not only look forward to but also crave to the point where it beats out anything else I could be doing with my time. What better way to reframe my perception of bedtime than by including all five senses? By creating a fully sensory experience, my hope is to change my mind and habits towards those of a productive sleep schedule.

Taste:

Sipping on a hot beverage helps the coziness of the evening. I switch between hot teas and Beam Dream to help me wind down. I will only drink non-caffeinated teas such as herbal teas or sleepy-time teas. Beam Dream is a wonderful night-time hot cocoa treat that I've recently discovered. It has natural sleep-inducing properties that helps me wind down, fall asleep, and stay asleep!

Sight:

While I rarely have the overhead light on in our bedroom, it is especially important at night. I turn on my bedside light when the sun starts to go down to help set a mood conducive to unwinding and relaxing. Additionally, keeping a good book that I look forward to getting lost in can always be found on my nightstand!

Smell:

I save my favorite soy wax candles for the evening and enjoy local vendor's scents. Southern Wix ("Alive in Roswell" is my favorite scent!) and The First Burn ("Dream Weaver" is my favorite!) are two of my current favorite brands and I always keep them on hand!

Hearing:

Keeping the volume down, I generally opt for instrumental music while getting ready for bed.

Touch:

Nothing says, "It's time to wind down" like a hot bath. Keeping a variety of my favorite bath salts, oils, and bombs in stock adds to the excitement of the winding down time. I recently have gotten into sheet face masks (I know, very late to the party!) and try to incorporate one of these weekly.

Excluding the times I was pregnant, the longest I've been able to keep a healthy sleep schedule is approximately 5 days. It will be my goal over the next 30 days to follow a sleep regimen that consists of going to bed by 10:00 P.M. I am excited to see the results and especially to see if getting the right amount of sleep magically helps other areas of my life become more effortless.

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Thank you to all of the Amazing Artist for their beautiful photography!

Tuesday, December 19, 2023

Starting Over: Lessons I Learned from Changing Careers - Part 2, "Chris' Support"

I feel incredibly blessed for Chris to have had the insight and courage to encourage me to pursue real estate. Before he brought it up, it was something I was extremely interested in, but it seemed like a far-off dream that only extremely motivated and successful people could achieve. Chris' confidence in me that I could be one of those people was such an inspiration.

At the time, we had several friends who were real estate agents so I began my research by meeting with two of them. They were both very encouraging, assuring me that I had what it would take to complete the schooling, pass the exam, and grow a successful real estate business. At this time, I had started cleaning the house of a family friend for extra cash. With the combination of my student load decreasing by half and Chris not receiving the promised promotion at work, we were in dire need of additional income. I was very thankful for the opportunity as the money earned often became our grocery money for the week. Cleaning someone else's house was a very humbling experience for me but provided me with ample time for audiobooks.

I discovered Rachel Hollis during this time and was enjoying her book, "Girl, Wash Your Face." I can remember the exact moment I decided it was time to step out and boldly go in the direction of my dreams: it was while I was cleaning a toilet. Now, these friends of ours were not gross people. They always picked up and their house was clutter-free which made it one of the easiest homes to clean. But the trifecta of Chris' conversation in my memory, Rachel Hollis in my ears, and the toilet scrub brush in my hands was the push I needed to say enough was enough. It was time to start down my new path.

October 10 was the day my Real Estate studies began. Forever a student, I eagerly began! The online course I had purchased allowed 120 days to complete not including the course exam which was to be taken in person. I mapped out my plan to complete the lessons, allowing margin for lessons that might take longer to complete. According to my estimations, I was poised to finish WAY before the deadline. I scheduled studies into my day, sometimes during the time the children were at school, but mostly evenings after they went to bed. I diligently took notes and completed units. And it took me the ENTIRE allotted amount of time to complete the course. I scheduled my course exam, took it, and failed. Wait, WHAT? Yes, I failed.

I was completely shocked because I just KNEW I had passed, and probably had also received one of the highest grades in the class. I was in shock but set to studying again, determined to pass the second time (particularly so since I would not have to redo the entire course if I failed the second time). My second time there, I remember turning over the test and feeling a sense of dread seeing the same questions I thought I had answered correctly the first time around. I assume it's for security reasons, but you are not told which questions you answered correctly and which ones were incorrect. Of course, this makes studying so much more challenging. Hunkering down, I once again did what I thought was my best... but this time I passed!

I quickly scheduled my license exam and continued to study daily. Walking in to take the license exam, I was nervous but confident. They took my picture and assigned me a computer. My game plan was to skip any question I did not immediately know the answer to, answer the ones I knew for certain, answer all of the math problems (there's only one correct answer to those questions after all!), and circle back around to the hard questions. First question: Not sure. Second question: Could be B? Third Question: Uh Oh. Fourth Question: Cue the tears. Panic washed over me and dread set in. What had happened to the last SIX MONTHS of studying?

Pulling myself together, I slowed down and miserably finished the test. I left the room defeated and handed my paperwork back to the man behind the desk. He asked me to sit and started printing forms. I quickly looked at my phone camera to make sure I had wiped all of the streaked mascara away. The gentleman handed me my forms and started to give me instructions for delivering them to my broker. I was so confused... "I PASSED?!?" I asked, astounded. "Yes, you passed." Was his dry reply. I joked that I now understood why they took the license picture before the exams.

Throughout this long and tedious process, Chris fully supported me... at least in words. He was always the first to tell friends about my new endeavors, proudly stating that he fully supported this life transition. At the time, I was still teaching three days a week, involved with the children's school PTO, and finishing up my 14-year commitment to North Fulton Music Teachers as their Vice President of Programs. I was so thankful that I had his verbal support but can remember the exact moment of being completely overwhelmed when he responded, "This was your decision." We had been in the middle of a discussion about everything going on, from two separate carpools, to running a household, to teaching, to studying. I stood there flabbergasted by his response. As was customary for me, I pondered his response. A few days later, during a conversation, I laid it out for him.

"Chris," I said. "I truly appreciate all of your verbal support. It means the world to me for you to have my back as I chase this new dream. But I need more than words. To me, support looks like helping out a little more around the house. Support in words is great, but I need actual, physical help." (As a side note, this is why communication is so important in relationships.). Chris looked as though a lightbulb had just gone off in his head. Suddenly, he got it.

His support changed from just verbal, to actual physical, tangible support for which I was incredibly grateful. He started helping out around the house, taking over responsibilities that had previously been mine. At one point, he even took over the laundry! He overwhelmed me with his help. The support continued through the birth of my actual business. I can 100% say that I would not have been able to achieve the level of success I have without it. Being able to communicate what I needed and having a partner who was willing to listen and change was absolutely priceless.

Thank you to the following Artist for their art:

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Starting Over: Lessons I Learned from Changing Careers - Part 1, "The Social Shame"

In the fall of 2018, I was not in a good place. If we're really being honest, I hadn't been in a good place for about a year. The previous fall I had cut my piano student load in order to have more time in the evenings for our children. It was the first time both of our children were in school and it had become very clear that the piano teacher's schedule of teaching from 3:00-7:30 was no longer conducive for our family. But as both children were in school and I no longer had a full-time studio to manage, I quickly fell into depression. The first few weeks were awesome- my schedule was open and I'm pretty sure my children came home to freshly baked cookies several times. I remember when it hit me, though: literally no one noticed (or cared) when I completed my household responsibilities. I could be productive as soon as the children left for school or I could go back to bed, sleep until it was time for carpool, and do laundry in my now free afternoons. I chose the latter.

After about a year of this, Chris and I were discussing how I really needed to find something to do with all of my newfound free time, ideally something that produced an income. We had not made the decision for me to cut back on teaching lightly- Chris had been promised a promotion at work and we had made plans for our family based on the word of people who had no intention of keeping it. A year in, we were really starting to feel it. That was when Chris made the suggestion that I look into real estate. "Why would I do that?" I asked. "Because you know you love it," was his reply. He was right. Even though we loved our home that we had searched for for a year and a half, I had never stopped looking at houses coming on the market. One could say I had caught the real estate bug, and I was constantly looking up houses online and dragging everyone to weekend open houses. I decided to explore my curiosities and enrolled in the pre-licensing course.

Fast forward to the following summer when all of my coursework was completed, the course final and license exam were complete, and I was starting to build my business from the ground up. I can remember the first time it happened: someone asked me, "What do you do?" I excitedly answered, "I'm a Realtor!" They quickly raised their eyebrows and I could see in their eyes what they were thinking... "So, basically one step above a used car salesman." I had not been prepared for this response at all and quickly (and proudly) added, "But I also teach piano!" and received the response I had become accustomed to receiving for the past 20 years: the softening of the face, a nostalgic look in their eyes, and a smile that said, "Now THAT is a noble profession!"

But wasn't helping people find their homes also a noble profession? Why had I received this response and what was it in me that immediately felt shame for this new direction I had chosen? I decided to dig deeper into these feelings and quickly realized I had been wearing my profession as a piano teacher as a badge of honor. Teaching the next generation the art of music was such a privilege and I knew I was walking away from a profession that was very fulfilling and rewarding. Nevertheless, I knew I was being called away from this profession and led to an exciting new career. I knew what I needed to do in order to continually be proud of my new profession: stay true to myself and remain authentic.

Defining my "Why" has helped me to do just this and stay focussed on what's important to me. What was driving my purpose? I started to dig deep, seeking wisdom from experts in the field. I spent time in prayer and discussed it in detail with my mentors.

After much study and reflection, I finally defined my why:

Every day, I work towards providing each of my clients with an exceptional luxury experience that helps them feel confident and knowledgeable about their real estate endeavors. For the majority of the population, real estate is the largest investment one makes in a lifetime. I consider it an honor and a privilege to be their trusted real estate advisor and walk alongside them during these transactions.

Thank you to the following artist for their art:

Alex Sever

Pixabay

Monday, October 23, 2023

30's-Something Ponderings

Today was a rare day. For the first time in as long as either of us could remember, Chris left for the office and I stayed home. On any normal Thursday, I would have a morning full of emails and to-dos and an afternoon of showings or playdates. Today, however, I had very little work and zero appointments. I found myself tackling projects around the house that hadn't been touched since my "stay at home" days: organizing the linen closet, deep cleaning the library, bleaching and ironing shower curtains. Little tasks that so easily get thrown aside in a busy household but the same tasks that used to bring me simple joy. As I neatly folded the towels and arranged them Ralph Lauren-style on the shelves, I was suddenly overwhelmed with so much grace and compassion for early 30's Ashley who so diligently kept her home as though any minute Martha Stewart's magazine journalists would be knocking on her door for an editorial. Early 30's Ashley who managed to keep house, juggle preschool carpool, instruct a full piano studio, AND have the self-discipline and willpower to maintain a fit physique. I have so much admiration for her and for all of her grit. She fearlessly lead her household and, above all else, was a fantastic mother. Always planning fun things for her beautiful children, always making sure they knew how much they were loved.

As I round out my last year in my 30's, I wonder how much compassion the "Then-Ashley" would have for "Now-Ashley." Would she have been able to stomach the fact that for the past THREE weeks, present-day-Ashley went back to bed every single time after morning carpool? Would she have extended grace to the now-me mom who definitely allows too much screen time and too much junk food? Or would she have agreed that after doing all-the-things for so long, it was OK to slow down, just a bit, and go back to bed after carpool without guilt?

Georgia has had the absolute pleasure of experiencing a true fall this year with chilly mornings and warm afternoons. As we've heard many times, nature has a way of showing us that letting go can be beautiful. In her book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Maria Kondo talks about expressing gratitude towards things before letting them go. As the last autumn of my 30's breezes in, I'm reminded that it's ok to fondly gaze on the incredible woman I was in my 30's while still having gratitude for where I currently am.

Wednesday, January 27, 2021

In Pursuit of Habits for 2021

Nothing makes me want to set some new goals more than a fresh start. Recently, I read James Clear's national bestseller, Atomic Habits (yes, I realize I'm about 3 years late to the craze). If you've been around me or my blog for any length of time, you've probably heard or read about my yearly, monthly, weekly, daily (hourly?) goals. I've read many books on the subject and consider my ability to identify my weaknesses and then pursue strategies to correct them as one of my strengths.

While many of the habit books I've read are incredibly helpful and insightful, James Clear speaks about habit formation in a very straight, scientific way that simply makes sense. He begins by shedding light on the misconception that while goal setting and intentions are great and all, it's really the systems we put into place and committing to the process that produce the desired habits that can allow us to achieve our goals. It is with that in mind that I present to you the habits I wish to create and fine-tune in 2021.

2021

Go to bed earlier (for real).

There's no denying 2020 was a weird year. With plenty of at-home time to devote to developing solid habits, the uncertainties often crippled efforts, and ultimately late nights and sleeping in won. Many of the lines in Atomic Habits speak to expanding healthy living habits and the ones that I've constructed to help my processes in place are the following:

"I will start my bath as soon as we put the children to bed."

We've established pretty solid systems for making sure the children get to bed on time each night, especially during school nights. In order for my winding-down time to be able to begin as soon as they are in bed, we've created firm daily rituals and boundaries to ensure all housekeeping and to-do's are completed by the time dinner arrives. This makes certain that evenings are spent relaxing and reconnecting with each other.

...so back to this bath. You might be thinking- "You don't need to put this process in place- we follow your social media accounts and know for a fact that you take plenty of baths." This process is less about the actual bath and more about the timing of it. The ritual of the nightly bath is the beginning of my bedtime routine. I start the bath, remove my make up, take everyone's dirty clothes from the day down to the washing machine where I set it to begin right before we wake up. I place my fitbit on its charger, grab my water for the evening (a 1.5 liter Smart Water bottle which I'll drink between then and the morning), and snatch my book from the nightstand. By starting the process right after we put the children to bed, I'm setting myself up for early-to-bed success.

Move every day.

While quarantine brought with it many walks, there were also plenty of times where we would go days without walking. Rewind a year before quarantine and you would have found me moving way more in general. In the past when I've set movement/exercise "goals," it's been with an end result in mind:

"I want to lose weight so I will run a mile every day."

"I want to run a half-marathon, so I'll train 3 days a week."

"I want to be flexible so I will do yoga every day."

While these are all great mindsets, they're just not very motivating on a daily basis. Running a mile can be (and is) daunting most days. Following a daily yoga routine requires intentional planning and sacrifice to dedicate 20-60 minutes to something that's not even that fun. And the setting of a goal to run a half-marathon may motivate you up until race day, but what about after the finish line? I gave myself a week off... which very easily expanded to more and more weeks. My new movement rule will be:

"I schedule my daily walks into my calendar and never miss them."

and

"I will do yoga or run one day a week for 10 minutes."

Ten minutes may not seem like enough time to actually improve fitness, but as James Clear points out, it's more about developing the habit. Once I get into the habit of making sure I'm walking every day and either running or doing yoga once a week, I plan on expanding these workouts.

Read 25 Books.

Last year brought much more downtime for us and I was able to read more books than I had the previous four years. While I didn't meet my goal of finishing 25 books, I came very close at 21. In looking back at why I didn't complete the 25 books, the easiest thing to pinpoint is the lack of evening time dedicated to book reading. To help reach the number 25, this year I am implementing:

"Once I get in the bath, I will set a timer for 20 minutes and read without looking at my phone."

Again, this may seem like a silly statement and, of course, once I read for 20 minutes, I'll most likely want to keep reading. Really this rule is in place to help me focus on reading a book rather than scrolling through social media.

Help More People Buy and Sell Homes.

2020 brought with it my first closings in my new business. The beginning of the year looked promising with a crazy "Spring Market" kicking into high gear... in January! Needless to say, everything came to a screeching halt for me come March. While I was presented the gift of time for additional training (including my Christie's International Real Estate Luxury Specialist designation!), I was certainly excited when things began to pick back up and I was able to resume helping friends and family buy and sell homes. I learned more with each transaction and every interaction.

Looking ahead to 2021, I've registered for even more training to help fill in any gaps and to continue the constant learning that's so important to any career. I would love to implement my experience and upcoming training to help even more individuals and families in 2021. I'm so blessed and fortunate to have a career I truly love and strive to continue to develope luxury experiences for my clients.