30's-Something Ponderings

Today was a rare day.  For the first time in as long as either of us could remember, Chris left for the office and I stayed home.  On any normal Thursday, I would have a morning full of emails and to-dos and an afternoon of showings or playdates.   Today, however, I had very little work and zero appointments.  I found myself tackling projects around the house that hadn't been touched since my "stay at home" days: organizing the linen closet, deep cleaning the library, bleaching and ironing shower curtains.  Little tasks that so easily get thrown aside in a busy household but the same tasks that used to bring me simple joy.  As I neatly folded the towels and arranged them Ralph Lauren-style on the shelves, I was suddenly overwhelmed with so much grace and compassion for early 30's Ashley who so diligently kept her home as though any minute Martha Stewart's magazine journalists would be knocking on her door for an editorial.  Early 30's Ashley who managed to keep house, juggle preschool carpool, instruct a full piano studio, AND have the self-discipline and willpower to maintain a fit physique.  I have so much admiration for her and for all of her grit.  She fearlessly lead her household and, above all else, was a fantastic mother.  Always planning fun things for her beautiful children, always making sure they knew how much they were loved.   

As I round out my last year in my 30's, I wonder how much compassion the "Then-Ashley" would have for "Now-Ashley."  Would she have been able to stomach the fact that for the past THREE weeks, present-day-Ashley went back to bed every single time after morning carpool?  Would she have extended grace to the now-me mom who definitely allows too much screen time and too much junk food?  Or would she have agreed that after doing all-the-things for so long, it was OK to slow down, just a bit, and go back to bed after carpool without guilt?

Georgia has had the absolute pleasure of experiencing a true fall this year with chilly mornings and warm afternoons.  As we've heard many times, nature has a way of showing us that letting go can be beautiful.  In her book, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Maria Kondo talks about expressing gratitude towards things before letting them go.  As the last autumn of my 30's breezes in, I'm reminded that it's ok to fondly gaze on the incredible woman I was in my 30's while still having gratitude for where I currently am.